Habit 1 - Part 3

Circles of Influence vs. Concern

We all have things we are concerned about. We can call this our ‘Circle of Concern’. Our job, our health, our relationships are all within this circle. Habitual behaviors of our loved ones, the weather, these may also be of concern to us, but our ability to control or influence them is extremely limited, or non-existent. This is a key distinction.

Our ‘Circle of Influence’ is the subset of our ‘Circle of Concern’ that we can do something about. A proactive person recognizes this difference, and focuses on their Circle of Influence; They focus their energy where it will be productive. Focusing ones energy on things one has no power over is not productive.

There are many things in life to complain about. We can even think we are building a relationship with a coworker by commiserating about a supervisor, validating each other. But it’s a very shaky foundation to build a relationship on.

When we focus our energy on our Circle of Influence, this circle actually expands. Our opportunities for productive action actually increase. Focusing outside it can actually have the opposite effect, shrinking our Circle of Influence, diminishing our power.

The proactive person will recognize another persons weakness but not be consumed by them. If there is nothing he can do about it, why focus on it? Why not work with that persons strengths, making their weaknesses irrelevant. Or if talking with that person could help, then that is working within the Circle of Influence. It’s scary and threatening, but this is what Highly Effective people do. They act within their Circle of Influence even when it is uncomfortable. This enables their circle to grow.

Gophers and Proactivity

Covey relates the story of working for an organization that had a highly dynamic, creative, visionary president, but a dictatorial management style. He tried to make everyone around him is gopher. He alienated most people except for one, who was a highly proactive person. I took offence, but did not get offended. He recognized the presidents strengths and worked with them.

While his coworkers commiserated, ‘confessed the presidents sins’, this proactive man did not take it personally. He went a step beyond what was asked of him, anticipating the underlying purpose of the presidents orders. His Circle of Influence expanded, until he became a compliment to the president, and nothing in the organization could happen without him.

The nature of reactive people is to absolve themselves of responsibility. They find information to support their paradigm. But one can always find a reason in the world to blame. The weather, a coworkers or spouses attitude. Always.

A proactive person are always seizing initiative. Acting where they can. Anticipating. They are not just aggressive and assertive. They are not obnoxious. That would be taking withdrawals from the ‘emotional bank account’ one has with those around you.