What is a Habit?

Habits are an internalized principal. A principal is a rule by which we guide our behavior. For a business it might by to value to customer. For an individual it might be orderlilness, or productiveness.

Habits have 3 elements that overlap to form a habit:

1) Knowledge. We know what to do.
2) Skills. We know how do it. We have the actual skills to do what we have the knowledge to do.
3) Attitude. We know why to do it. This is what makes us WANT to behave according to the principal.

It takes all three of these things. For example it a man wants to develop his relationship with his wife, he may read a book to understand intellectually how to do it, and he may understand the why, but until he has actually developed the skill through practice and seen it reinforced it has not become a habit.

“Habits are like a cable. We weave a strand of it every day, and soon it cannot be broken” – Horace Mann

Covey agrees with the first part but not the second. I myself am not so sure that habits can be broken completely, but I do believe that new habits can be developed, that can mitigate or even override old habits. Neural pathways and mental patterns don’t whither quickly, but over years of neglect, they may become faint.

Habits are continually reinforced by some kind of payoff – a satisfaction of some kind whether it by physical or psychological. We may even consciously see that a habit is not fruitful, or even destructive, but the payoff keeps it in place.

To overcome a habit is a process that requires commitment. Covey makes the analogy to the Apollo mission. Most of the energy was expended in the first few minutes as it broke free from the pull of gravity, but once outside of the trap of the Earth’s pull, there was enormous freedom.

Often the most difficult part of changing a habit is deciding to do it, and sticking with it for the first few days and weeks. After that, you are not free yet, but the strength of the pull becomes less and less. I have noticed this with habits that I have broken. In the beginning I must use much conscious effort, and just force myself to stay with my intention no matter how much parts of me object and offer up plenty of reasons not to change the habit. But I gets easier with time as those voices are ignored.

I have also notice that the ‘Why’, that is the attitude aspect of a habit, is often the missing element in trying to change my habits. If I don’t truly belive that I will benefit, or that the benefits of a new habit outweigh the benefits of the old, then it is hard to get myself to try.